What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Prediction: This "Magnificent Seven" Growth Stock Will Hit an All-Time in June. Here's Why It's Worth Buying Now. - The Motley Fool

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ground beef sold at national grocery chain might be contaminated with E. coli, USDA warns - AL.com

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What were some things that the ancient Greeks excelled at compared to the Romans?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why did Democrats echo that Joe Biden was greater than FDR and should be put on Mt Rushmore? Why did Democrats vote for Biden blindly in the primaries and deny he was mentally impaired? Was it the lying media, or are Democrats ignorant and gullible?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Airlines and planemakers warn that credit card legislation could end frequent-flier rewards - Business Insider

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

TEXT:

Scientists have discovered a hidden city 140,000 years old at the bottom of the ocean. - Farmingdale Observer

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Can you share summer photos? Day 8

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …